Jeff Howe, who joined the Army after 9/11, and Austin Rooke, a counter-intelligence officer, share two things in common. Both served in Iraq, and both vanished from the front lines — after thousands of dollars were spent on their training — because they are gay.

Howe, who says he joined the Armed Forces after a lot of soul-searching in the wake of 9/11, was discharged after two tours in Iraq after military investigators found an online personal ad he had placed. Rooke quit, tired of living a lie.

In the 12 years since President Bill Clinton signed into law Public Law 103-160, commonly known as “Don't Ask Don't Tell,” nearly 10,000 military personnel have been discharged because of their sexual orientation. Those terminated include more than 200 medical specialists and 300 linguists, many of whom were trained as much-needed Arabic translators.

The military quickly responded by saying they would continue to process the discharges of gay servicemembers, and Pentagon spokesman James Turner said that the military had not changed the policy. Pentagon spokesperson Lt. Col. Ellen Krenke said that “no exceptions for someone who was being discharged” for homosexual conduct are made during wartime.

Indeed, discharges under “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” continue. Though the U.S. military continues to struggle to meet recruitment goals — and has lowered “moral standards” such that more than 20,000 men and women recruited in 2005 received waivers from standard Army requirements — gay and lesbian soldiers continue to be pushed out of the armed forces.

Even soldiers serving on the frontlines in Iraq have been discharged under the policy. And these discharges are only one part of the story, as some personnel opt against reenlistment because of the weight of the secret they are forced to bear. These are the stories of two soldiers — Jeff Howe and Austin Rooke.

Howe completed his basic training at Fort Sill in Oklahoma in April 2003 and was sent to Fort Riley, Kansas. There he was told his unit would ship out to Iraq in three days. Howe decided to blend in.

The unit being shipped out to Iraq included some of the soldiers with whom he had gone through basic training, so he was forced to keep up the pretense. He wasn't just in the closet; he was known as a straight soldier.

Howe's unit was in Iraq, where he served on the front line, until the spring of 2004. He received five commendations for his service, including the Army Service Ribbon, the National Defense Service Medal, the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal, the Army Commendation Medal and the Fort Riley “Blue Chip Soldier” Award. When he returned to the United States, he said he felt satisfied with having fulfilled his two-year commitment.

Then, in September of that year, with only weeks to go, Howe was stop-lossed, and sent back to Iraq for a second tour. When he arrived in Iraq in January 2005, he set up a blog.

In July, some of the unit's trucks were hit with enemy rockets. His company commander told Howe to take pictures and post them on his blog. When the brigade commander was told about the posted pictures, he balked, feeling the pictures would hearten the enemy. Howe was ordered to delete his blog. Quickly thereafter, a background investigation was started to see if Howe had terrorist ties.

“Don't Ask Don't Tell” stipulates that any statement about one's sexual orientation made in a public forum is grounds for discharge. The Internet is considered a public forum.

Howe is regretful not only that his service was cut short, but that his records will forever show that he was “separated early for making homosexual statements.” He says members of his unit have been unsupportive. Although he has no legal basis to fight his dismissal, he vows to fight to get “Don't Ask Don't Tell” repealed. But his allegiance is still to the service.

Austin Rooke, 35, never officially came out during military tenure, but his experience with both officially sanctioned and cultural homophobia contributed to his decision to leave the Army. When he joined the Reserve Officers Training Corps (ROTC) in college at the age of 18, he wasn't even out to himself. He went through four years of college and a year of training in Army intelligence, and was a second lieutenant going through additional training in counter-intelligence, before he first began to acknowledge his sexuality.

As an officer, Rooke says he had “more control over who I associated with.” Working in the intelligence corps, “which is generally better educated and more open-minded,” Rooke says his early experience was better than some gay soldiers'.

After 9/11, Rooke was working for the Gay and Lesbian Task Force when he got a letter from the Army telling him he was being activated. This led to a stint in Qatar during the lead-up to the Iraq invasion. There, Rooke says, he experienced an entirely different atmosphere.

The military continues to defend that law — “Don't Ask Don't Tell” — even as they turn a blind eye during wartime. For Howe and Rooke, repealing the law is the only way to ensure that lesbian and gay soldiers will be able to serve openly and be equal to their peers.

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